


Foolish

by caisha



Category: Cast In Chaos, Chronicles of Elantra - Michelle Sagara
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cast in Chaos scene extension, Extended Scene, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:12:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caisha/pseuds/caisha
Summary: An extension of the Nightlin scene in Cast in Chaos.His brows rose. His eyes darkened a shade. She would never have thought that dark blue was safer, but in some ways, it was. For her.  "Very good," he said softly, his tone sharper and colder.She opened her mouth to speak, and he swallowed the words, almost literally. His lips caught hers, and his hands, which were warm and smooth and dry tightened almost imperceptibly around her cheek and the line of her jaw, holding her face in place.





	Foolish

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this 3 years ago and have never published it, so sorry - but I recently commissioned an art piece by Arriku (http://arriku.tumblr.com/) based on this scene from the book and thought this was a good time to finally release it to the handful of Nightlin fans out there! I hope you enjoy.
> 
> The first bit in italics is from the book, there is a separation noting when my writing takes over. All credit to Michelle Sagara for the first bit (and these characters!).

_His brows rose. His eyes darkened a shade. She would never have thought that dark blue was safer, but in some ways, it was. For her. "very good," he said softly, his tone sharper and colder._

_She opened her mouth to speak, and he swallowed the words, almost literally. His lips caught hers, and his hands, which were warm and smooth and dry tightened almost imperceptibly around her cheek and the line of her jaw, holding her face in place._

_She felt desire; she couldn't even be certain it wasn't her own, it was so tangled up in the mark and the name and the nearness of him. But she couldn't move, and didn't, not to draw back, not to push him away. This much, she had in her because this much had never happened, not in Barren, and not in the nightmares that Barren had left her._

_But when his hands moved, when he shifted, when his body was fully flush against hers, she stiffened. Desire gave way to something darker and colder and wilder - but it was the wildness of a cornered animal. She froze, opened her eyes, saw the lights in the room dimming._

_He froze with her, and then very carefully stepped back before she could push him away. His eyes were that odd shade of blue, and they were clear and unblinking._

_"I see," he said, and his voice was lower, rougher. He lifted his hand, touched her cheek - the marked cheek, this time - before withdrawing. Heat left the mark as he moved toward the low table, turning his back. She had no words to offer. Nothing to say._

_She tried._

_He shook his head as she struggled with even the first of the words. "I should have killed Barren," he said. "I should have killed him, but I was not certain that would not destroy the future in which we first met._

_"I am willing to wait, Kaylin. Unlike your mortal, I have forever."_

_She was almost shocked at the words, because she couldn't avoid feeling what lay beneath their surface: a grim possessiveness, a violent desire, anger, disappointment. All things she knew well. All things she had experienced, time and again, in the White Towers of Barren after her first - and her only - betrayal of the man who had called the fief his own._

_But the fieflord of Nightshade had withdrawn, and stood at a distance, all motion stilled; he didn't look at her, didn't allow  her to see his expression - not that that made much of a difference with the Barrani, in the end. He didn't ask her what she wanted, didn't ask her if she wanted, didn't ask her when she might._

_He asked nothing. It was not what she expected. Not from a fieflord. Not from Lord Nightshade. His hands were curved like scythes by his sides._

* * *

Kaylin stood there, still rooted in place by the shock of events. The only Barrani she had ever seen have physical contact with another person was the Consort - her open affection was tolerated due to the critical nature of her role. Even then, it was highly unusual.

She moved a hand to her waist where her blades were settled, their presence reassuring her of her safety; this was uncharted territory and she knew that she must practice caution.

His hands moved suddenly at his sides, clenching into fists and Kaylin heard a word press against her mind - _foolish._

"What's foolish?" She let it slip out of her mouth before she could stop it, and immediately recognized her error when Nightshade turned around swiftly - but with the ever-present Barrani grace. Even now, she had a feeling of envy roll through her body before she shook it off to deal with the very blue-eyed Barrani staring at her.

"Pardon?" Nightshade hadn't moved since turning around, but his eyes were locked onto hers. She knew now that whatever she had heard was a glimpse of Nightshade's running monologue - a monologue he usually kept tightly locked down.

"Yes, Kaylin. I hide my thoughts - as should you. Remember that though I hear yours, I exercise restraint and manners which you so soundly lack."

She stiffened at his rebuff, but didn't deny it. Instead, she took a few steps in his direction and watched his eyes darken to the deep blue that only spelled disaster for her.

"Why did I hear your thoughts - and I only heard one word, not exactly "thoughts" - but why this time? What was 'foolish'?"

He finally moved, taking a step toward her and lifting a hand to her unmarked cheek. "For the first time, Kaylin, you wanted to know what I was thinking," he brushed his thumb against her face again. "And I was…distracted."

_That's not like you,_ Kaylin spoke silently and felt him smirk, though nothing appeared on his face.

_No, it is not. I was…foolish._ He let his hand drop and his eyes shifted to a sky blue that scared her more than the dark.

"Why are you foolish?" She should have taken the opportunity to leave, but she was a Hawk. She had to know, even though the question scared her.

At that, he laughed out loud and terrified her with a bright smile she didn't think he was capable of making. He pulled one of her daggers out of her sheath and held it between his two hands, examining it.

"These are fine blades, remarkable quality considering they are standard issue."

She didn't know what the quality of her daggers had to do with the question, but Nightshade seldom answered questions directly.

_No, I do not._

"I could kill you right now and you could do nothing to stop me," he said as if he were discussing the glint of sunlight on the marble floors. "It is almost an instinct of preservation that I _should_ kill you - a fact that I have to acknowledge. Barrani do not like weakness, we do not abide it."

Kaylin was staring at the blade, at the long and slender fingers that were caressing it, "Then why haven't you?"

"Killed you, Kaylin?" His smile this time was bitter as he slid the dagger back into her sheath quietly. "Because I am foolish."

Her frustration was clear, but he ignored this and continued, "I am foolish for thinking my…affections…would be well received. In my arrogance, I assumed that what I had waited four hundred years for would not be so one-sided. I spent centuries in the pursuit of knowledge and power - enough to help you for whatever endgame was in store for your _Regalia._ To be worthy of you."

And at that, to Kaylin's utter shock, he slid to the floor in abeyance.

"I am Barrani, something you will never understand nor respect. Your abhorrence for my nature - and I am perhaps the worst of my kind in a great many things - is palpable. Your fear is regrettable. I am foolish, Kaylin Neya, for being so scared of never meeting you that I allowed you to go through such pain and did not kill Barren myself."

He looked up at her, his eyes a dark purple, his face emotionless even now, but shocked her by dropping into Elantran, "I am foolish for falling prey to the human weakness of love."

Kaylin blinked and stepped away, pressing her body against the wall, feeling trapped.

_The Barrani don't know how to love._

He shook his head slowly, _Untrue. Our passions run deep and violently through our blood, but with affection brings weakness - we do not make such things known to our enemies. Barrani or otherwise._

_Yet you're telling me._

_In another foolish moment, yes._

She thought of Barren's possessiveness, of his violence - of his cold touch. So like Nightshade - but not; Nightshade had pulled away, even chastised himself for his arrogance. He had surprised her - he seemed to do that a lot.

Pushing off the wall, she walked towards the Lord whom she had feared most of her young life - who was currently on his knees before her. She took his hands and he stood gracefully, watching her with his purple eyes and she brought a hand up to his face.

"I'm not good with things like this," she watched him with open curiosity. "I told Severn I didn't - that I was scared-."

He covered her hand with his own as his eyes flashed blue with the mention of her partner. _You felt desire, when I kissed you._

She stiffened and pulled her hand away, _No. That was yours, I felt it through my mark._

_The mark does many things, Kaylin, but have you ever felt my emotions through it?_

She was silent at that statement, knowing he was right - and fearing it.

"I can't love you," she stated emphatically, "Not like that. Not the way you want."

He smiled softly at her, surprising her. _Maybe not now, but one day you will find me worthy._

She bit back a sarcastic response about Barrani arrogance and realized that he had said _she_ would one day find _him_ worthy.

She had tried, after Barren - once, she told Severn - and had broken the man's nose in a violent reaction. Nightshade had not caused any such reaction, though he certainly deserved it more - if for different reasons.

"You removed the cages from outside the castle."

_Yes._

"Because I didn't like them?"

_Yes._

At that, Kaylin pressed her lips against his in a mirror of their previous interaction. She felt foolish and scared, at first, until his hands framed her face and his lips moved against hers. At that, she felt the desire rushing back, her mark blazing against her face - she gasped and felt him smile against her open mouth as he pressed his body against hers. Her hands fell against his arms, cautioning him against moving too fast. He pressed his closed lips against hers, _What do you want, Kaylin?_

Her heart beat fast, absolutely terrified; she felt every inch of his lithe Barrani body against hers and felt inadequate.

_Show me,_ she finally said, _what it's like with love._

His eyes flashed blue, his anger at Barren eclipsing his pleasure at what she was asking him - if only for a brief moment.

He stepped back and picked her up, carrying her silently through the mirror which took them directly to a bedchamber adorned in forest green and gold finery, with a large dark wood bed facing the high windows. Nightshade set her down gracefully and silently walked towards the bed before turning towards her, hand raised in a final question.

Kaylin was terrified and certain she would regret her impulsiveness in a few short hours - but placed her hand in his anyway and was gifted with another smile. Hands went to her waist again, but this time to unlatch her weapons belt, which was gently set on a table with respect.

His hands went for her shirt, but she stilled them - instead she brought her hands over to the flowing ends of his attire. The shirt was some of the finest material she had ever seen and Kaylin felt dirty even touching it.

_Don't. The material is nothing. You are a great deal more important._

Reverence was in every word of his thoughts as she slipped his shirt off and she ran her fingers down his dry and hardened chest. She didn't know why, but she had expected scars - from the Barrani wars.

"I took only minor wounds, others of my kind were not so lucky," he spoke modestly, which shocked her.

_I think it was more that you are a good warrior._

_The best._

She smiled at that, as she ran the lines of his chest with shaking fingers. He grabbed them, "You asked me to show you what it's like with love. I do not know what that is like, but let me try."

And her final barrier hit the floor with her clothes, a soft sigh as she was placed on the soft linens of Nightshade's bed. He kissed her again, this time demanding entrance to her mouth with his tongue, a game of dominance being played as his fingers danced along the side of her breasts, teasing.

His hand finally brushed the tip of her breast and her nipple hardened as her breath hitched in fear, drowning out the desire momentarily. Nightshade's lips left her mouth and traveled down her neck to her breasts, brushing light kisses around them before taking a nipple into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. The fear pressing down on her gave way to desire again as she ran her fingers through his silky hair, her hips moving slightly against the leg that rested between them.

He lifted his head up and pulled her hands together, holding them above her head against the headboard. One hand went to rest low on her stomach and her hips bucked in fear.

_Kaylin, there is no need to fear me at the moment. You hold my name._

She stilled _. Calarnenne._

_Yes_ , he whispered as his hand traveled to the place between her thighs. The place that was slick with undeniable desire.

_Calarnenne_ , she whispered urgently as a finger pressed against the nub of desire and rubbed slowly, her hips again raising in response.

"Yes," he said again, this time his voice was rough with desire and something else. His thumb ran against her skin as a finger slid inside of her and she gasped, her hands clenching in fists. Her marks had started to glow, usually a sign of uncontrolled magic. Nightshade didn't appear to be concerned, and instead let her hands go as he put his own on her thighs, pushing them apart as he settled in between them.

Kaylin's mouth was open in confusion, but the question left her lips as soon as his tongue touched the place between her thighs. His grip on her thighs tightened as she tried to involuntarily press them against his head.

_Nightshade._

_Yes?_ Was the humorous response.

_What are you doing?_

_Isn't it obvious, Chosen?_

And at that, he slipped his finger inside her again as his tongue flicked against her clit, and she had her answer. His grip on her leg was strong but soft, and his hair was splayed across her thighs though she barely had any thought or feelings outside of his tongue now twisting inside of her as his fingers rubbed against her clit.

She tentatively gripped the hair close to his head and felt him growl in a possessiveness that would have scared her at any other moment. Right now, however, it spurred her desire and she pressed him closer to her.

Nightshade pulled her into his mouth, sucking softly as she let out a string of soft Leontine curses. The longer he was down there, the more his fingers slid slowly in and out of her, the more her mind cleared inexplicably and suddenly she felt uncomfortable in this perfect bedroom with this perfect Barrani male beauty.

Nightshade lifted his head to stare at her and she averted her eyes, ashamed, as she tried to close her legs despite the desire throbbing through her lower body. His hands moved up her body as he straddled her hips and he spoke softly, "Kaylin."

He gripped her body and slowly rolled over so that she now was above him and his fingers ran across the tips of her breasts down the curves of her stomach. _You are not inferior, Kaylin. You are strong and feel so much for others - though it is a human weakness to feel so much, it is something you carry with a grace and strength that my kind would never be able to. Your body is young, but has been through so much - it has been honed by hardship and you've never stopped hating it because of that. If you cannot care for it yet, let me. It's mine to cherish._

Kaylin bristled at the possessiveness in his tone, but she kept silent because as his hands moved from her thighs to settle at her waist, she felt nothing but reverence. Despite her brain screaming at her, she leaned down to press her lips against his once more, his mouth opening, gladly accepting her tongue. Sucking gently in a soft mimic of what he had done minutes before, in a rhythm that made her roll her hips against his stomach. He chuckled softly against her lips before pulling away, locking her with his vibrantly violet eyes that she now associated with desire. He gestured for her to move her hips up his body and though she was confused, Kaylin obliged. _What are you doing?_

_You interrupted me._ Was all he said, but she quickly understood as he pulled her over his mouth and sucked her clit once more, his hands pushing her waist closer to him. She gasped and her hands went out to the wall to steady herself as she bucked against his tongue, the new angle rendering her mind blank.

She felt his mouth leave her clit and move entirely to her opening, tongue thrusting into her with more force as his nose rubbed it gently. His hands roamed tentatively to her butt and as he grabbed it, she growled and moved against him again.

After minutes of seemingly endless ministrations, she felt a tide of desire building up in her lower stomach, making her movements more erratic. Nightshade shifted a hand forward, his fingers beginning to rub her clit in a circular, identical rhythm and her mind went blank, incapable of uttering any words. She had never been good with words.

_Kaylin. My Erenne. Let go, come to me._

She barely heard the words as the desire hit its peak and she felt herself rippling around his tongue, quivering with the force of something that had no name _. Calarnenne._

She said his name like a prayer and felt his violent reaction to it - grabbing hold of her hips and drinking her in, his tongue running up and down her slit as she came down from her high, a cold and languid feeling surrounding her as her hands dropped off the wall and she rolled off of Nightshade to lay beside him on the bed.

Kaylin was thankful he chose not to reach for her, instead giving her space to process, but she could see his chest rise and fall rapidly - with desire or exhaustion, she couldn't tell and knew he would never clarify.

Her head turned to him and stared at his profile, he chose to remain silent, staring at the ceiling. He somehow knew she couldn't handle looking at him straight on right now.

The Barrani confused her, but Nightshade in particular. _I have always been the worst of my kin. In many ways._

_Would desiring a mortal fall under that?_

She expected him to be amused, but he turned his face to her then, his eyes the blue of fear.

_Yes. If only because it meant I am foolish. I will lose you one day, either to another or death. And I will wonder, centuries from now, if it was worth it._

Kaylin broke away from the intensity of his gaze and stared at the ceiling. She was quiet for a number of minutes, searching for words.

_I don't know what to do now,_ she thought brokenly.

His hand found the palm that had moved to lay between them, beckoning and opening; he covered it with his own, dry and warm, and she gripped it desperately.

_I have learned to wait,_ he said. And for some reason, it made her smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you liked it!


End file.
